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Absolute Naturists Children Raised As Nudist... Choice?
| What about children that are brought up in the nudist lifestyle? Do they ever make a conscious choice to be a nudist, or was this choice made for them by their parents? And the same question applies to children that are brought up in a textile family. This topic was originally posed as a question (word for word) by member dbo in relation to the other topic regarding the nudist choice. To not confuse the other topic I have posted the question here. Thank you dbo. SB | |
| I would think that if a child is raised a nudist, eventually they'd get to an age where they could choose to continue to be nudist or choose not to be nudist. Same as someone raised in a certain religion, eventually they'll get to where they can choose in which direction they want their life to go. No one in my family is a nudist, but I discovered nudism at age 16 and have chosen to be a nudist. | |
| I helped raise my step daughter from the time she was 3 till she was 16. And at NO point did she give any hints that she would try the nudist lifestyle and enjoy it like her MOM and I did. But it was her choice in the matter. No one should be forced in any way to try anything in life. But I believe what she did know about being a nudist helped her out in her childhood years and growing up. | |
| Hmmm. Initially I would have said a natural choice since small children seem to love to run about nude. But, in light of a child raised by nudists who didn't choose the lifestyle, perhaps not. However, it was obviously her choice. I do agree no one should be forced to go nudist or textiled, only told when it's appropriate for each. And, I'm not referring to only when bathing and such for nudism. Jim | |
| I have read several reports that when kids reach puberty, even ones raised nudists, they go through at least a period of wanting to be covered some come out of that period and go back to nudism but some don't. John | |
| Lux, did you say that we are given the choice to be textiled? I would aree that most children make their own choice at a point in their life and we should support that. Hopefully being raised in a nudist background has given them a better foundation on the concept that family and social nudity is not a bad thing and there is nothing to have fears about it. | |
| Okay, first let me say that I don't hve any kids, but I slept in a Holiday Inn last night so I guess I can play a parent on TV... Seriously though, what choice do kids ever have when they are growing up? Parents decide the religion; they decide where the family will live; and in general, make all the rules. It isn't until the child grows into self-awarenes that he/she can start voicing opinions - which brings me to mine... A child should be raised as the parents so desire until he/she can start voicing well thought out/rational decisions. Hence, the 'I don't wanna' without a reason behind it doesn't hold water. But when the child can just say 'Yo, you go on to the resort, I'm just gonna hang here' and remains clothed, then he/she shouldn't be forced. I support the child's right to self-expression (within limits) so while raising them in their early years is fine, they should make the choice themselves later on. That being said, the Catholic Church used to say, 'Give me a child until aged 7, and he'll be ours for life' has a lot of merit. If kids are raised in the lifestyle, then they will probably stay in it. Just idle thoughts from the peanut gallery | |
| SB, I meant once the child reached the age at which he/she could choose, with reason as pointed out by another contributor. Until they reach the age at which they can reason for themselves then no, they do NOT have a choice in whether to live as nudists or textiles. But, young children do seem to gravitate toward nudity, would you not agree? By example, watch a young child freed from their cloting while being "changed" or before/after bathtime. They pretty much don't see a need for clothing and will freely and gleefully run about nude until corraled and forced back into clothing by an older sibling, parent, or guardian. Jim | |
| As someone who was raised to a relaxed atmosphere regarding textiles, I learned to 'cover up' when guests arrived. Mom never covered when one of us needed the bathroom while she was bathing, Dad wandered about the house without a care (or a stitch of cloth), etc. My sister (6 years younger) developed a concern for textiles when she blossomed early at age 11. My brother developed a similar need to be clothed, changing behind closed doors at an early age. I remained a nudist, and my grown daughter has continued the practice in her life with her husband. You just never know. | |
| Brett, I disagree somewhat. I think children of nudist parents, even if one is a step parent, should be forced to practice nudism with their parents until they enter puberty, at which time they can make an informed decision, which they may reverse after puberty, or may not, but at least they have first hand knowledge to base their decision on. It is much more difficult for someone of any age to decide to try nudism if they have never experienced it. | |
| Like most things, a lifestyle is influenced by surroundings. Peer pressure is probably the most significant 'path changer' in most children's lives. I used to think that the other kids at school looked "funny" with their tan lines after a weekend at the beach. It never occurred to me that they were being denied a freedom I took for granted. Just because young people are compelled to attend religious services of their parents choosing, does not guarantee they will continue that particular belief system in adulthood. A child "forced" to eat broccoli may or may not consume the vegetable as an adult. I find it interesting that, in the family I grew up in (CO for the most part) I am the only one that remained comfortable with nudism as an adult. In my Birth Family (recently found) out of eight (3 girls, five boys) raised in totally different environments, all of us are more comfortable without textiles in semi-public situations. | |
| Having been raised in a nudist household , the youngest of four kids , I had three oldeer sisters, I think it is easier for people raised as nudist to move to the textile world than it is for those kids raised in a textiled world to move to a nudist world...probably because I am prejudice having been raised as a nudist, but textiled people seem more inhibited and uncomfortable with their bodies than those raised in a nudist environment...I didn't wear clothes until I started kindergarten then found textiles incredibly confining ... I hated them and could not wait to get home each day so I could take them off... | |
| AMEN, Texasnewd! | |
| Kids in nudist familys should be raised as such, but given the freedom to cover up when they wish. At resorts, kids seem to go covered away from the pool. Teens are almost universally clothed. | |
| I was introduced to naturism at 15. I didn't exactly have a choice. It was more of a situation where we-dad, stepmom and stepsister-skinnydipped just the four of us for about 4 months that first spring and summer. It started when my dad began dating a fellow chiropractor whom he later married. She introduced him to the lifestyle when they were first dating. I have a stepsister a year older than me who really helped me get through the first awkward weeks. Rather than give me a choice to go nude or not, my dad and stepmom just made sure I wouldn't be the only teen, by way of going to clubs my stepsister was already comfortable with on account of the amount of peers normally around. What bothered me the most a few years back was feeling like I stood out being more mature than other guys my age, but my stepsister said nobody would really care. I really hated being introduced to my stepmom's friends. My folks discouraged me from wearing trunks away from the pool area by saying that while technically clothes were "optional", guys who cover up can make girls/ladies uncomfortable because their reason for being at AANR clubs is called into question. | |
| My dad raised me a nudist, and honestly I couldn't thank him more. It brought me an awareness of freedom and acceptance that few of my friends not raised nudist have. | |
| Just an interesting observation...as in many threads here on NCH...over 900 people viewed the comments left here and only one woman actually commented... | |
| Interesting replies. When nudity started becoming commonplace in my household, there actually was a conversation about how much of a personal choice it should be for our daughter - then still a toddler. And we decided to make it entirely her choice. And so, growing up, she did in fact make her own choices - for example choosing to not sleep nude, but still getting undressed after waking up and getting out of bed. Odd, but her choice. The myth that "if you give them a choice, they won't go nude" proved a fallacy - at least with my daughter. At resort trips she was never told she had to undress; she always chose, of her own free will, to toss off her clothes the moment we arrived. I have seen people at the resort forcibly strip their kid(s) at the resort; or chastise them not not being more socially nude. On the other hand, I remember this bathing suit-clad kid my daughter befriended at the resort. The kids took off playing; and after a while the boy wasn't bathing suit-clad anymore. And I saw a look of perplexity on the parents' faces. It turned out they'd never even asked the kid if he wanted to be nude; they just assumed he wanted to keep his bathing suit on. I was just wondering what everyone else thought. Should nudism be taught like "brushing your teeth" or "doing your homework": Just do it!!? Or should it be left open as a personal choice? | |
| Nudony, I think your own story shows leaving it up to the children is the right choice. Children, like adults, will resent ever being forced to do anything. Leave it up to them and very likely they will find the pleasures of nudism on their own. Jim | |
| First off, I was not allowed to be clothes free, not even shirt free, as a child, and I didnt raise my kids with a nude option, but if I could do it all over I WOULD raise them exposed to the nudist lifestyle and they would know that it was ok IF they wanted to be nude at home especially!! With the understanding that not everyone sees it to be ok to be nude so there would need to be times that require clothing. Just my opinion.... | |
| I think in the early stages of life ... children are given no choices. Almost all children want and need structure, rules and bounderies. They need to be taught many rights from wrongs ... but, in my opinion, going without clothes is neither right nor wrong. You need to teach your children how to live within the society we live in. IF given the choice and not "taught" to wear clothes, I doubt a child would ever wear clothes, with the exception of extreme cold. But since we fail to live in that type of society, being taught when and where you can and can not be nude is how children begin to establish an uncomfortable, embarrassing attitude toward being nude. Those children that grow up as nudists; we don't have enough data to support how well adjusted they are in comparison to weekend nudist children or textile children. At some point in these raised nudist children's life's, they are intermixed with textile children for social reasons as well as time at school, church, sporting events ... they can't be nude completely and entirely unless raised solely within the confines of a nudist community. When a child becomes old enough to begin asking questions, having concerns and voicing those concerns and their opinions, be it their own or influenced by peers, then I think parents need to begin listening to those concerns and opinions and dialog openly about ... choices. | |
| Well as a newbe I have no expierince raising children in this environment. I do have some valid thoughts. when i was in the 6th grade, i accidentally walked in on my mother naked. it was accidental. i had never seen my mother's breast or her pubes. she screamed at me to leave. i felt so guilty. i don't think i have to add any more. seeing ur family nude is a touchy subject. | |
| The opposite took place over 30 yrs ago with our kids. They always saw us naked. Gettin up in the morning, making breakfast, getting them ready for school and us getting ready to take them or go to work. They saw us naked when they got home from school, as long as they didn't have friends coming over. If we stayed home for the weekend ... we were naked inside and out. As they got older and they stopped being naked at home, with us, they still saw us naked frequently. Though we curtailed our nudity ALL the time when they were home, we still didn't make a big deal outta them coming in and out of our bedroom, bathroom or laying out in the sun or using the pool or spa. To this day ... both of them in their mid-late 30's will walk into our bathroom and borrow a hair dryer, hair spray, ask a question and see us both naked ... they don't bat an eye, they don't gasp, they see it as normal for us. Maybe ... that's why they are so willing to go on nude vacations with us, go to nude beaches with us and even visit our club and the resorts we visit. They still aren't comfortable with doing those things alone but they are comfortable still doing them with us. And this is after they both took an over 20+ yr break from nudism. :) | |
| Let's try this. Remove the word nudist, nude, naturist and substitute religion, church, belief. Do parents have a right to expect their children to follow in their religious beliefs, attend church with them, etc? Parents often enforce this on their kids, yet children are supposed to be allowed to choose to adopt to their parents nudist lifestyle. I fail to see a difference. | |
| Okay Rabbit ... so at what age do you recommend that parents stop parenting and allow their children to make ALL the decisions that will mold the rest of their lives? If you're born into a family with a certain faith ... isn't it logical that the parents would raise that child in that faith? We did, we gave them a foundation to either build on or decide to find a different path ... in due time but if we went to church ... we didn't ask our 8 and 4 year old "do you want to go to church?" They just went with us. Later when they were "old enough" to make those decisions on their own ... they were allowed to make those decisions. With respect to nudism and nudity in the home. We didn't "force" our children to live as nudists ... they just adopted our way of living as their own. We didn't tell them ... "you must be naked ..." they just followed suit. When they turned 12 and 10 ... they decided it wasn't for them. Not because they thought it was bad but because they were influenced by friends that told them it was bad. Ironically ... those two girls that told them it was bad ... are the two girls having multiple life issues. Maybe they should have worried more about their own lives and less about our daughter's lives. hahaha Parenting is not a one size fits all. So ... when do we allow children to make up their own minds? | |
| This is one can of worms that will ever have a correct answer. However, as a kid upto 4 years old I recall the folks going to the beach and clubs (one nearby to where we live) something happened and we never attended again,can't recall if we just followed suit or protested about being naked at the time. Today I enjoy being clothes free whenever i can feel comfortable with it, but would never push my nieces to do the following (i don't have kids). however during the summer months its quite common for me to see both of them either topless or completely naked when they playing on the trampoline or similar their mother mutters word of oh not again but I say hey if they happy so let it be. | |
| I have to say that IF I could do it again and go back to when my kids were young, I WOULD do it different by being nude around them and ALLOW them to join me nude or not, without making them stay covered as I was raised. I wouldnt say that there is a certain age where they should be allowed to make their own choices, but with our guidance as parents we can guide them along to make some of those choices that will affect the rest of their lives. I would NOT FORCE them toward nudity, but ALLOW them the choice!! | |
| "when i was in the 6th grade, i accidentally walked in on my mother naked. it was accidental. i had never seen my mother's breast or her pubes. she screamed at me to leave. i felt so guilty." Same here. Raised by repressive roman-catholic older parents, my Mom's viewed her own nudity a something utterly shameful. She did her best to hide it, until one fateful day where I walked in on her nude in the bathroom. Her screams terrorized me. It certainly altered my perception of nudity - mine and others - that haunted me for years. One day, out of the blue, I finally had a discussion with my Mom about it; and her confession staggered me. She regretted the fact that she'd never been able to overcome her body-shame; and that even if home-nudity was never an option, wished that she would have been comfortable enough to not "run and hide" every time I nearly caught her nude. To this day we still talk about nudism from time to time. Obviously, that is not a problem when you're consistently nude around your kids from infancy. But even if you don't believe in home-nudism with the kid(s), that whole "freaking out when getting caught nude by the 4 year old" business can have adverse consequences. | |
| FieProf, I see your's and your wife's casual nudity in the home, in the presence of your daughters, as a very positive thing. I too was raised in a clothed home and with exception of seeing my mom breast feed my younger brother when I was very young (he's two years younger) I don't ever recall seeing my hernude and can only remember briefly seeing my dad nude only once late one night. I, unfortunately, failed to raise my own family as nudists and wish I could redo it. Unfortunately, I never truly felt the desire to become a nudist until in my 60s though I experimented with nude sunbathing off and on for about the last 25 years or so, too late to raise my son and daughter as nudists since textile was already ingrained . My wife still does not understand or really accept the fact I love living clothes free. Jim | |
| I never saw my parents naked. I was raised in a pretty conservative family atmosphere, like my wife. When we got married and began living as nudists, we never had any "intention" of "raising" our children as "nudists" ... just kids that were exposed to nudity as a normal way of life. At the time when our oldest was born and began to understand that she could run around naked ... she didn't hesitate. Of course ... the younger one followed suit after she was at an age to understand she had that choice. We were naked all the time at home, in the backyard and the girls liked sleeping in their winter or summer PJ's with characters or Princesses on them. They also sleep without underwear. This was normal and even after they got to the point where they felt uncomfortable with being naked ALL the time ... they still slept without underwear. Every so often ... they would skinny dip in our pool or hot tub but not as often as they did before having listened to their friends. At that time ... we didn't have a support system like many new families do. The internet wasn't invented yet and we didn't know much about clubs or resorts. Had we met other families ... they may have helped us through these times and maybe ... or girls would not have taken the 20+ yr break they did ... but their upbringing was strong and through those choices they had ... they chose and chose to return to a life of semi-nudism or recreational nudism. I don't believe in forcing anyone to do anything. But at an early age of life ... parents must provide a foundation for their kids future. A foundation in religion, education, respect, understanding, nutrition ... if later in life they chose to take a different path, it's up to them but as children ... it is imparative that they are guided in their early years and if they are being raised by nudist parents ... the logical and normal way of life for these children would be to be naked ... if they are comfortable with it. When they become uncomfortable ... it's time to allow them to make the choice. | |
| I agree about the early guidance and allowing choice once they're old enough to choose wisely. Seems you and your wife did a great job, Fire. Jim | |
| "At that time ... we didn't have a support system like many new families do. The internet wasn't invented yet and we didn't know much about clubs or resorts. Had we met other families ... they may have helped us through these times and maybe ... or girls would not have taken the 20+ yr break they did ..." Even that doesn't always make a difference; at least not in my case. :( When my daughter was about 3 and had been nude around Mom and Dad for...3 years, I went online and asked what was a good age for kids to start going to resorts, the do's and don't, etc... Everyone pretty much said that 3 was a perfect age to start. So we selected a resort - again, based on websites, and headed out. That first trip, I think was the only time I actually told my daughter to undress; but that was because it was her first time nude outside of home, and she seemed confused about where we were and what she was supposed to do. Her confusion lasted about 10 minutes - until we reached the pool area where there were other kids - also nude. After that, she basically developped as a nudist, on her own terms, without any particular encouragement or motivation from us. Most of the social and leadership skills she now possesses, are very much a by-product of her involvment in nudism. She learned to talk to everyone, be accepting and not intimidated, and even volunteer for activities. She managed to amaze me one day, as she befriended a shy and clothed kid that no one was talking to. I don't think she even thought about the fact that she was nude and this kid wasn't. In many ways, she was a better nudist than I was/am! HOWEVER Even that didn't prevent the "pubescent dropout." She was 10 when it happened. I don't know if there's a anti-dropout formula out there! But it would be nice to share it! | |
| I think the thing that concerns older children the most, with regards to their parents being nudists, is the misconception of nudism being about sex and that their parents are involved in some swinging, orgy filled commune ... gettin' it on with everyone. It's important to put those misconceptions aside and educate them on what it is exactly and what your are involved in. We have friends that have not told their grown sons. Their sons know where they go and where they stay. They are aware of the way they live when they are not around ... yet, they won't tell them outright what they do, why they do it and what goes on ... it's left to the guy's imagination. That can't be good. I don't know that "raising" you children as nudists is what "should" be done or not done but at least exposing your children to simple everyday, non sexual nudity isn't harmful and I think it's healthy. Our girls are quite comfortable around us and our friends, while we're naked at the clubs or resorts and they come to visit. Even our grandkids were comfortable around our naked friends when we vacationed for a week in the caribbean. To them ... it was normal and natural for us and they were not bothered by it. I think because they always see us naked when they are here. | |
| There have been a number of studies published in refereed journals regarding children & nudism. Marilyn Story, in the Journal of Psychology, Vol. 118, first Half, Sept. 1984 "Comparisons of Body Self-Concept between Social Nudists & Nonnudists" Marilyn Story, in Jour. of Social Psychology, 1979, 108, 49-56 "Factors Associated w/More Positive Body Self-Concepts in Preschool children" Robin Lewis & Louis Janda, in The Relationship Between Adult Sexual Adjustment & Childhood Experiences Regarding Exposure to Nudity, Sleeping in the Parental Bed, &Parental Attitudes Toward Sexuality, Arch. of Sexual Behavior, Vol. 17, No.4, 1988 Marilyn Story in "A Comparison of Social Nudists & Non-nudists on Experience w/Various Sexual Outlets" Journ. of Sex Research, Vol. 23, No. 2, pp 197-211, May 1987 Mary S. Calderone, M.D., in "The Family Book About Sexuality," states: " ... with very young children accustomed from the beginning to nudity in themselves and their parents, a great deal is taken for granted, and it doesn't seem to be much of an issue to them. What nudity does is make it easy for children to become absolutely certain about just how men and women are made. This knowledge is of great importance in assuring the child of his or her own correct gender. The differences in body states and sizes - and in body organs - can then be taken for granted and will provide an accurate image of how they themselves, or the opposite sex, will look when grown up. Children whose parents feel at ease in such natural events as stepping out of the shower, toweling, and walking back to their room to dress are fortunate." A suggested book: GROWING UP WITHOUT SHAME by Dennis Craig Smith, ISBN 1-55599-001-0 - read it with your children. Love Peace and Happiness | |
| Its just what has been said here. Parents make those desicions for us at a young age and we live with them until we are old enough to make our own choices. Religion politics ect. I will say that I have been around familys at nudist resorts and find them some of the most well behaved and well adjusted children I have ever seen anywhere. | |
| Thanks ... that's exactly what the Manager and his wife and many people on the beach, including our friends, said of our grandkids at the resort where we were vacationing in the caribbean. It was a nice compliment to their parents and to us. ;) | |
| Question: did the good behavior happen before or as a result of nudism? Did the the kids become well-behaved after they became nudists; or were they already well-behaved, and essentially stayed the same way after the clothes came off? I think sometimes, just sometimes, we attribute to nudism values that actually came from elsewhere. And the finger I'm "pointing" is actually pointing back at myself. I like to think my daughter's social and leadership skills came from social nudism; but they very well may have come from me or her Mom, and were merely applied to her nudist environment. | |
| I think you're reading way too deep into my post! hahahahaha I'm sure, like in your situation, they were brought up that way ... whether or not they were nudists but their ability to adapt to a strange environment with people they don't know and they were ALL naked ... I think they did exceptionally well. Would they have been themselves without having been exposed to nudism ... hard to say, but I'm not going to discount the fact that their exposure was somewhat responsible for their behavior at the resort, in some instances. I will agree ... "nudism" does not make kids better behaved and respectful. Parents and grandparents are the ones that set that bar and expect them to reach it. :) | |
| LOL! I definitely "over-think" sometimes; borderlining on "knuckle-headedness." :) I guess, yeah, nudist exposure and good parenting are not mutually exclusive; they can reciprocally influence and complement each other. A good combination too. | |
| To chime in here, I'd say their good upbringing and exposure to nudity BEFORE going to resorts probably resulted in the children being well behaved upon seeing nudity all around them. It really wasn't something unusual since they'd already been exposed to to it as normal. I suspect if well behaved children were suddenly exposed to nakedness, like in a resort or beach setting, they would act inappropriately simply due to their surprise at seeing what they'd been taught was abnormal and shameful. I guess I'll have a reference point in the future. My new grandaughter is 1 year old today. Her mom has decided she will not be raised as a nudist (mom's not) and my wife also insists the baby must remain dressed. I don't go purposely nude in the grandaughter's presence but don't hide either. Fortunately, my daughter accepts the fact I'm a nudist and has said she plans to raise the baby to be accepting of the rights and beliefs of others so hopefully she'll be allowed to discover her own path which I sincerely hope will be nudism. Jim | |
| From my kids and others I have found children are born nudists until they are taught shame and to cover up. Being textile is what is forced upon them. | |
| I really don't think you'll get any argument from this group of nudists! LOL :D | |
| Our daughter's were being raised to live without clothes until they stopped at the ages of 12 and 10. 20+ years later, they have both revisited naturism. The oldest, more a "vacation nudist." But the youngest is exploring it more and more. She's having some issues, personally, and leaning towards returning to naturism is a very small part of the problem, in her relationship, but a problem nonetheless. She's wanting to join one of the national orgs and then join our club. Her BF and her husband are also very interested in visiting. So ... even though we were bring them up to live clothes free, at home and in the backyard, they made the choice to stop but ... it seems that some of that has stuck with our youngest and she's wanting to be involved in it much more nowadays. Still her choice! ;) | |
| This is exactly what I was trying to say in that other topic about getting younger persons involved in social nudity. It begins at home and the examples we set. Whether they decise to do that or not will be their decision and choice. No X-Box or creative marketing strategy by a nudist venue will change that to any great degree. It all starts with us and the examples we set. We are probably behind the curve on this because we were raised in a time of significant non-acceptance and negative social norms. The media information tools were not available to us as they are nowdays. Never the less, it is not to late to start, even of it is with our adult children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. We are the examples of credibility. |
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