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Absolute Naturists Single male. Problem?
| We need to find a solution to the problem of single men finding themselves personae non gratae at nudist clubs. We are not all sexual perverts, and we are not all seeking memberships and day passes in order to lure unsuspecting women into our tents or trailers. Are we thieves, are we murderers? What is it about us that makes us undesirable in the nudist community? Speak up, guys! | |
| Personally, I have no experience with clubs so I've not been turned away for being a "single" male who is married to a non-nudist spouse. However, there does definitely seem to be a double standard applied to unacompanied males at many resorts based upon what I've read. I've read excuses (no, I won't call them reasons) such as an effort to maintain a balance between the sexes which seems to say they're trying to ensure everyone can have a companion of the opposite sex if they wish. It doesn't seem "single" females are looked upon in the same manner as "single" males. I think, deep down, perhaps it's a carry over from society in general where unattached males are presumed to be on the prowl for dates, etc. I don't know whether I have really answered the question but at least you have my 2 cents worth. Jim | |
| I've only been to one club, so I can't offer much in the way of experience. I went to Avalon in West Virginia where the club policy is to welcome unescorted men. Their policies are fairly liberal overall, with the only real restrictions aimed at inappropriate behaviour. However, on the day I was at the club there were only a few other couples and a few singles including myself. I felt that I was getting a cool reception from the others there and spent the day there with very little interaction with the others present. I don't know if it was because I was there without a partner or if the others there were just standoffish with everyone they meet, but it was not the "friendly atmosphere" that I have so often read about in nudist websites and publications. There is always the possibility that is something about me personally that put them off, but I rarely have difficulty making new friends in other situations so I doubt that was it. I think that club owners may believe that keeping an equal gender balance may make everyone feel more at ease, but I have never discussed this topic with a club owner so I don't know why some clubs limit the number of single males on their grounds. I doubt that there is a need for limiting single women, as there is ample evidence that there are simply not a lot of women eager to enter nudist clubs, so there is no need to have a policy governing their numbers. | |
| When my husband was single, he never had a problem. Most clubs actually do welcome truly single men I've found. Those Travelites members who travel, I usually call in advance for them to make sure they'll be welcome. I do not bring my club members to those places that do not welcome all my members. Call in advance. Let them know if you're an AANR and/or TNS member and through which club. If you're a club member that generally means you've been vetted and proved to be an upstanding individual. Ask if the time you're wanting to visit is good for them. Be polite. | |
| When I was visiting clubs as a single male I was never once turned away. I always called ahead. I always acted with decorum and every time I was told "come on back any time." There may be a few clubs who absolutely will not allow single males but I think they're few and far between. An AANR card helps but I wasn't always an AANR member when I visited. IMHO people who've never visited a club/resort as a single male have no business posting on this thread. They're continuing the myth with their speculations. Is there anyone here who has actually been turned away? | |
| Yes Skiflydive, I am a married nudist and my wife isn't. I was going to Palm springs to attend a wedding. I thought, cool, I can go a few days early to the TCI and catch some rays! Wrong, the management said I was welcome only if I bring my wife. My wife had to work so I ended up not going to the wedding. Dave Note from SB: TCI / Terra Cotta Inn, Palm Springs CA | |
| Skiflydive, While I can appreciate your frustration with persons who have not experienced the single male discrimination commenting, but to say these members have no business responding is wrong and unacceptable, please do not do it again. All opinions are valuable no matter what and I for one appreciate, maybe not agree, with what all members of this group have to say. You probably never read my Letter to the Editor in the August 2011 AANR Bulletin (thousands of nudists did), but in that letter I spoke to the owner of Gymno-Vita nudist club who openly said he discriminated against single men at his club in a previous Bulletin article. He further declared that AANR has no business telling him anything about that either. His club is NOT a 100% AANR member club so he is right, as a private business owner he can do what he pleases. His he right in my opinion as an independent business, but he is wrong in in the promotion of nudism or the nudist world as a whole. As we all know, some of you having experienced, the only way to combat this mentality is to take action to boycott them and speak out openly against them, not just bitch on sites like this. That's what I did and do whenever the opportunity arises. hmmm, guess what, I have not been directly discriminated in the fashion you spoke so I guess you think I have no business writing here about it or in the AANR Bulletin. Support clubs/resort that don't discriminate... simple as that. The three clubs I am associated with do not discriminate. They are: LARC in Mount Veron,WA; Natures Resort in Edcouch,TX; NorthWest Naturist Boating Club in Bellingham, WA. Maybe members can list clubs that they personally know discriminate or don't. | |
| OK Sunbunny maybe I should have chosen my words a little more carefully. Anyone can post anything anywhere they want. I'm not the post police. Still, I do have issue with those, and there are several, who have never visited or tried to visit a resort complaining ad nauseam that single male policies are a huge problem, that they prevent whole groups of people from participating, and that they are responsible for the impending demise of the entire nudist industry. IMHO they just aren't and those people who post that they are, without ever having suffered single/solo male discrimination/rejection or have factual knowledge of specific clubs that don't allow singles are perpetuating a horrible myth. I acknowledge that there are some clubs that stick fast by their rules. Gymno-Vita, TCI, and I'm pretty sure Blue Lake in Illinois for example are 3 out of 250+. I'm certain there are others but I still maintain they are few and far between. It's my belief that some clubs post single male exclusion rules not as hard and fast "rules" but to discourage ne'er do wells/gawkers/pervs/skulkers, etc. from showing up in the first place. My point in my earlier post was that in most cases if you call ahead and don't act like a jerk while you're there you'll not only be allowed in you'll be welcomed back, especially if you're an AANR/TNS member. (If you don't want to join AANR/TNS because your spouse might find out then you might have other issues than the singles policies at nudist resorts.) If you call ahead you might be asked "Are you married?" If you reply that you are but you want to visit without your spouse you'll most likely be turned away, especially if they don't know you from the proverbial Adam. There's no explanation required here. (maybe you could have your spouse write a note...LOL) So...I'd like to debunk this supposed issue. How many single/solo guys have actually been turned away from a nudist venue? (Dave...you're #1) Oh, and by the way Sunbunny, I did read your letter to the editor in the Bulletin. I didn't know that was you. Well done. | |
| bmelch...thanks for your thread. Have you been turned away from any nudist venue? | |
| Yes, have been turned away, once totally and once almost. My vacation was planned in advance and I had telephone conversations with everyone before I left home so I knew what to expect. I was turned away from The Terra Cotta Inn because I could not bring my wife, she had passed away six months prior. I stayed at the Desert Sun Resort instead and the married-single issue was not even mentioned. This resort was the best place I visited that entire month. On my way out of Palm Springs I stopped in to see what I had missed. Three men and one woman by the pool and a very small courtyard around the pool with overgrown shrubs everywhere. That ended my disappointment and I was glad I stayed at Desert Sun Resort instead. At Glen Eden I was told they would make an exception for me, but only if I brought along a copy of my wife's death certificate. I arrived late in the day and was told the required tour would be given the next day. The next day the tour guide was called while I was checking out and returning the keys. The guide said this was a nude resort nudity was required, and that I had to be nude for the tour, so I took off my tee shirt and pulled my shorts down to my shoes for the duration of the tour. The tour guide's girlfriend was in her kimono the entire time. In the 18 hours I was there I saw more people in clothes than out of clothes. Of all the places I visited that month, this was the least rewarding. | |
| There are options. If you can't find a nude lodging that accepts singles, there are usually straight friendly gay motels that are willing to accomodate you. I haven't tried that option yet but was going to. Hey SB, there is a idea for a thread! |
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