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Absolute Naturists My experience with a misconception
| I tan at a tanning salon, and I know the owner. I went in the other day, and she said something about not seeing me for a couple of weeks. I mentioned that I had sunburned my shoulders, and I had laid off the tanning. I also mentioned that I had been going to White Tail. Her: White Tail? The nude place? The nude beach? Me: White Tail Resort, yes. Her: Ooohhhhh... Really? (with a sly smile) Me: Yes. Her: You'll *HAVE* to tell me all about it! All the juicy stuff! Me: I don't know what you've heard, but it's nothing like what you seem to think it is. Her: Oh yeah, sure. Me: It's a FAMILY resort. It's advertised as a family resort. People of all ages attend, including children. Nothing untoward happens. You won't find people hooking up, and getting busy on the lawn. Sorry to disappoint you, but it's pretty much like any other vacation resort, except that people are nude. If fact, overt sexual behaviour will get you kicked out. I showed her the rules of behaviour from the website, and I got the impression that she thought they were just for show; not really adhered to or enforced. I said "I'll tell you what. You and your husband go one day, and engage in sexual behaviour, and see how fast you get thrown out." That made her think that maybe, just maybe, I meant what I was saying, and I knew what I was talking about. And that nudity did not mean sex. She never did tell me where she got that impression of WTR. I'm just glad I could set her straight. | |
| Great job Lacey. You were honest about being a nudist and dispelled the misconceptions of at least one person. Perhaps she and her husband will check it out for themselves. Jim | |
| Textile misconceptions of nudist resorts, in my experience, have ranged from "perv central" to "obese 60 year-olds drinking beer by the pool." I've usually pointed at myself as a rebuttal: "Well I'm not a perv and I'm not an obese 60-year-old...so do you still think the same way about social nudity?" As nudists, we don't have to be always proselytizing; but we should do our part in dispelling myths about social nudity. You did a good thing, Lacey. | |
| I don't believe in any sort of proseltyzing. I think it does more harm than good (methinks thou dost protest too much). I'm more of the "actions speak louder than words" school of thought. It may not always work to change someone's opinion, it shows them they could be wrong in their opinions. I like my resort, and I certainly don't want people having the wrong idea about what goes on there. | |
| Good Job Lacey! It is always fantastic to hear someone not be afraid to stand up and set folks straight. We need more of you. Also thanks for you first topic post, it's a good one. Anyone else have any experiences dealing with misconceptions? | |
| Way to go Lacey, it does nudism well when we educate those who have misconceptions about what we do at resorts. Thanks for what you did! | |
| Thanks, everyone. I think nudism, in general, has a certain connotation for the uninformed. They also think that all we do, at resorts, is frolic about naked, and have sexual encounters on the lawn. There have been a couple of TV commercials that seem to be trying to put clothing optional/nudism in a better light. The Nespresso single serve cofeemaker ad, and the Geico gecko clothing optional beach ad. Nothing salacious. I think if more big companies took that sort of lighthearted approach, it might help our cause. Again, just my .05 worth. YMMV. | |
| I too like the GEICO commercial approach to the clothing optional beach. I'm not sure I recall the Nespresso commercial but will keep an eye out for it. Jim | |
| Jim, I've only seen the Nespresso commercial a couple of times. I did find it on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpCoWe6P6K0 | |
The world’s best café is in your home. A café where sixteen varieties of the world’s finest coffee match your every mood. A café where the perfect espresso, lattè, cappuccino is made by you. A café where one taste begins an endless passion to stay at home … … and where clothing is optional. To watch the Geico® advert Martin Visits Sunset Beach, click here → | |
| "Anyone else have any experiences dealing with misconceptions?" Oh yes. Many of the misconceptions I've encountered were "nudism=swingerism+voyeurism+exhibitionism." Those are actually not that difficult to debunk - IF the other person is willing to listen. The funniest was from a good friend of mine, who had a vision of the nudist resort as a place where "men paraded their naked wives around in front of other men." After a good laugh I simply explained to him that the nudist resort was not the "dog and pony show" he was imagining. By far, the most challenging misconceptions I've ever faced as a nudist concerned children and nudism. Thanks to "experts" like Freud, Spock and many others; and our contemporary "pedophilia scare", misconceptions about children and nudism abound. Many people actually believe that: a)children that are nude beyond a certain age (usually between 4 and 7) can be traumatized by the site of nude adults - or develop issues with their own sexual development; b) are easier targets for pedophiles. I've had a couple of friends and relatives bring up these misconceptions as hard fact - just because some so-called expert made these assertions. The thing that makes dealing with these misconceptions so challenging is that you're -directly or indirectly - being called a bad or abusive parent. It's an attack on your parental skills. Which is obviously going to have an emotional impact. And yes I've lost my cool during a couple of those conversations. I've stated this before and ample times. There is no evidence whatsoever that my daughter's nudist upbringing and involvment in social nudism has had any negative repurcussions to her emotional well-being. None. She is now just like any other teenager - obviously without the whole "nudity-curiosity" thing - but otherwise a regular teenager. Perhaps one of the worst things is actually nudists, yes NUDISTS actually perpetuating these misconceptions. That just totally floors me. | |
| It's a common occurance ... with whomever I or we talk to about nudism/naturism. Like others, the misconception is ALWAYS sexual. We are a bunch of swinging, wife swapping, orgy participating pervs and deviates. They may sugarcoat those words and their delivery ... but that's what they are thinking. These misconceptions almost always come from our own peers, friends and family members. Not as often have I had this same type of misconception come from the younger generation. In fact, those friends of our youngest daughter, mid 30's, are probably the most accepting and willing to understand, ask questions and seem to accept that what we are telling them is the truth. Unlike our older daughter's friends ... late 30's, who have the misconception as those of our own generation, not entirely, but they are the beginning of a generation that is paranoid about a good many things and being naked just to be naked doesn't compute within their minds as being something non sexual. I too have spoken openly with the mid 30 to late 30 generations and find that they just can't get their heads around being naked ... just to be naked. They truly don't get that it's a great way of life and they are wound up so tight, nowadays, that they become close minded and unwilling to even listen. I've had better luck with the 20 somethings working behind the counter at Starbucks then with those that I thought ... knew us. So ... this post is already too long so to post the several misconceptions I've experienced within my family, our friends and with those I used to work with ... will have to come later! ;) | |
| Well, I guess I'm lucky in the fact that most of the people I talk to about social nudism, can be disabused of the "nudism = sex" misconception, by telling them if they don't believe me, go to a resort, act in an overtly sexual manner, and see how fast they get removed from the premises. A lot of people that know me in my everyday life, know that I was separated from my ex husband for 6 years before our divorce was final. (long story, but yes, 6 years) They also know that I didn't date during that time, so obviously dating and sex were not high priorities for me. I'm not going to suddenly change my behaviour, merely because I got divorced. They know me well enough to know that I'm not going to be hopping in bed with every Tom, Dick, and Harry that comes along. So my behaviour should give them a small insight that a resort is not some sort of hotbed of sexual activity. | |
| Isn't it amazing how society has so ingrained the nudity = sex mindset it is very difficult to get people to look beyond. Lacey, I think your's is a great approach to debunking the myths and misconceptions. Your long, drawn out divorce certainly should stand as a testimonial. Finally, thank you Lacey and Andy. Actually I had seen and admired the Nespresso commercial but didn't recall doing so. Very positive in my opinion. Jim | |
| We'd like to think that of those close to us ... know us and know the kind of people we are, but they soon change their thoughts when nudity is the subject ... it quickly and automatically turns to something sexual. I'd like to think that our friends and family would be as open minded as Lacey's but they are not. We've been friends, close friends with a few couples for over 25 years and I'm certain they still would not get it and think we are involved in something sexual. I/we could not tell them to go visit a nude club/resort and have sex and see how long you last before you're thrown out on your naked butt ... the conversation would end ... period! Most people can't get through their own embarrassment talking about nudity ... any kind of nudity! We just returned from a trip to Vegas with friends. We spent the night at their home the night before we left. This buddy of mine and I were texting each other over the logistics and timeframe. In closing he texts me ... "don't forget your jammies." I reply; "I've got them on underneath the clothes I'm wearing." His reply; "TMI" He later talks to my wife and he then again says ..."don't forget your jammies. I told your husband that and he said he was wearing them under his clothes ... maybe I need to put some plastic down on the sheets!" Odd and inappropriate statement to make. We arrived and nothing more was said. IN Vegas: he admits to going commando quite often and ... his wife wants to go see "one of those girly shows where they are topless." BUT they can't even discuss the fact there are pools in Vegas that women can be topless, that we skinny dip and that we visit nude resorts! He's even mentioned getting staterooms on cruises with balconies so he can go outside naked if he wants. He knows I'm a nudist, we've worked together many years but he still can't get passed a casual, honest and adult conversation without resorting to jokes and misconceptions. Of course ... ALL these jokes and misconceptions are leveled at me and not my wife cuz ... "she'd never do that!" | |
| Well FireProf, maybe you and your wife need to take your friend and his wife to a nudist venue and introduce them to reality. Make the visit a surprise, describe the destination a surprise that you have always wished for. It would be interesting to see if they actually to inside. | |
| Ahhhhh ... NO, you don't "surprise" people with something you "know" will make them uncomfortable. ;) | |
| I think the biggest misconception that I have ever heard of came from our neighbour last year. My boyfriend at the time (Rusty) had moved into our home about 9 years ago. I moved in 8 years ago. We got married 2 years ago. Right from the beginning they were told that we were nudists. They appeared to be a little uncomfortable with that, but didn't say much except that they preferred not to have their children know about it. So we told them we would never be nude around their children. Last year the neighbour came over to borrow some tools from my husband and had accidently seen him nude before he slipped on some shorts. While they were chatting there was some discussion about nudity. Kind of where we went and things that we did there. Swimming, walking, meals, playing card games, etc. Also that friends came for visits and card games, or board games at our house or theirs. The neighbour said that he thought that when others came to our house that we were having orgies or were swapping. Rusty just told him calmly that he was the one that was perverted and nothing sexual was ever done. That we did normal things like everyone else only in the nude. I think he left with a bit of a better understanding of it. | |
| You know, your neighbour's comment about orgies and wife swapping makes me wonder if he would have thought the same thing, if he thought you and your friends were clothed when your friends visited... | |
| I don't think people would normally associate clothed visits to a neighbor's home with orgies, etc. And, if oddbutterfly and Rusty had not revealed to the neighbors they are nudist the thought would have probably never occurred to them until the neighbor "caught" Rusty in the nude when he came over to borrow tools. It's simply the thought of nudity outside their paradigm (sex, bedroom, bathroom to change clothes) which stirs others' imaginations about what "goes on" when people are nude together. Jim | |
| SEX is always the biggest misconception than non-nudists have about the going'ons at nudist venues. Why not, that relate nudity with sex, duhhh. One of my many experiences with this that sticks in my mind is one time when I was briefly managing a nudist resort during an ownership change over and I was asked to contact a photographer to take new marketing photos. I brought in a friend that was a professional photographer but not a nudist. He came and spent 2 days taking pictures and soaking up the environment to frame the environment while guests relaxed. He commented to me that he was sort of blown away in that it was just like a regular resort with people doing all the same thing as a textile resort, except they were all nude. It moved his cheese for sure. He also later told me that when he got back to his hometown, all his friends kept asking what it was like to be in a place where everybody was having sex everywhere... to which he laughed and told them it was no different than any other resort and NOBODY was having sex ANYWHERE. He said they were a little (some very) disappointed that nothing juicie occured.... of well, maybe it moved their cheese also. |
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