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Absolute Naturists How We Talk About Social Nudity
| When you talk about social nudity, do you say what it is -or- what it is not? In a recent article I read, the comment was made by a long time nudist that when nudists speak about social nudity to a non-nudist it invaribly includes or sometimes even starts out with what we are not verses what we are. That would be like we are not swingers, perverts, sex mongers, flashers, molesters... so forth and so forth. Somewhere in the conversation a positive may be included. The point this nudist was making was that we seem to put the negative before the positive which can skew the conversation in a negative direction. Let's talk about this. | |
| SB, a couple weeks ago I had this converstion with a friend of my wife and I.We discussed both of what is and what is not.She agreed with me and admitted that when she and her boyfriend are at thier camp up in the mountains they are nude as well, just not ready to be social nudist yet. | |
| I am prone to let others ask what it is about, to let them steer the conversation and then answer with positives . | |
| My opening line is usually ... "it's wholesome family living. It's mostly like everyone else's life, we just don't wear clothes when we don't have to." Then ... that's when "THEY" begin to ask the stupid questions regarding the sexual aspects. I will reiterate ... "it's "wholesome" family living!!! It's a lifestyle that I've introduced my children and grandchildren to and they love it!" If the conversation continues in the negative, which it has, I tell them that I would love to talk to them seriously and honestly about our lifestyle but they first need to get their minds outta the gutter and agree to listen to my honest answers. They either don't want to talk about it anymore or ... they shut up and listen! ;) | |
| Seems like a great approach, FireProf. I guess it's just so difficult for too many to understand it just is NOT about sex. Jim | |
| Well as a "social nudist" I certainly don't refrain from sex. Just not in a social setting like perhaps some textiles seem to feel nudism is all about. The bigger question as a nudist and something I do try to transcend to my female textile friends is this. I think it is true that on average nudist do have better sex lives. I think most of this is from improved body image and confidence. I just don't quite get this confusion of nudism equating to sex whether it be in the textile world or the world of naturism. | |
| Perhaps a better way to say it is NOT about sex would be to say it's not about orgies, swinging, or whatever other terminology one may choose. Yes, nudists do enjoy sex in appropriate environments, including openly in the presence of others who are likeminded but restrict their activities to only their own spouses/partners and not for purposes of exhibitionism. If anyone is confused by this go to Naturist-Christians and read the post "Hello From Beautiful British Columbia". Jim | |
| Since people are so imaginative when it comes to nudity, I have used "counter-imagery" to debunk false ideas about nudism building in their heads. Early in the conversation, when explaining nudism as a social, group activity, I know that their imagination is going to default to sexual images. So I'll interject something along the lines of: "...normal, regular people like your parents, your sister/brother and kids...all nude together." The image built in their heads comes crashing down because suddenly, it's no longer not some studly guy or bodacious blonde they are picturing in their head; it's Mom or their brother or some other relative that has just popped-up in their imagination. It's a great antidote to sexual thoughts. Granted, some people don't recover from those images. It's "ewwwwww" and conversation over. But they probably weren't going to be interested in nudism anyway. But others, once their imagination has been redirected, will become curious. For some people it will tap into childhood memories of furtive glimpses of nudity at home; missed opportunities or actual experiences. The question that then forms in their mind is "what if?" Curiosity sets in, and then you can have a converation about nudism devoid of sexual imagery. It's worked for my anyway. | |
| My neighbor, who knows I'm a nudist (she once asked about where I went every Saturday), asked me a few days ago what I did at "that nudie place" I went to. I first corrected her by saying it is a nudist resort, a family resort. Then I explained we did things that people do at a resort: lay out and tan, swim, relax in the hot tub, play games, read, take walks, talk to people, participate in organized activities, just relax and do nothing at all. The only difference is we do it nude. She asked about organized activities, and I said they have volleyball tournaments, movie night, karaoke, potlucks, dances. Because she knows me, I don't think having a romp in the hay crossed her mind. I showed her White Tail's website. | |
| A few years back I fell into the trap of saying what social nudity was not almost right off the bat. Nowdays I almost never go there unless I have to debunk a comment or belief. Looking back at how I use to respond with what it wasn't I see that it was my way of saying that I wasn't a nympho or perv or anything like that. I was always trying to justify myself to the non-nudists as being just like one of them. Then I realized that many of these textile non-nudists that I thought to be upstanding community members had more sexual hangups and deviant issues, probably due to sexual repression, than I was even close to. I stopped trying to justify myself to them. I realized how dumb that was. Since then, I do my thing and they can keep on doing their thing. When ask specifically about social nudity or nude recreation, I just smile and say that it is a honest, open and naturally happy way of living and enjoying life for anybody. Try it, you will like it. | |
| Through out the yrs. when someone would ask "why?" I made it a practise not to sell the fact that I am naked a high percentage of my time in this life. I simply say, " I choose to ". I don't have to defend my way of life. I find there are more people wanting to live their lives naked, but the typical fears stop them, those fears are normally discussed openly. | |
| There are actually two questions here. One is "How we discuss nudity." the other is "How we discuss social nudity." In general, the subject of nudity itself is straightforward for me. When it comes up in conversation, I simply tell people I don't like tanlines. It usually gets a chuckle, and then the questions start. Like so many others, I tell listeners about the family activities at resorts, the sporting and social interactions, and the freedom of being out in nature with others. I try to dismiss the phrases "nudist colony" and "nudist club" because they are regularly attached to a preconceived notion of swinging and sexual behaviors. I explain that naturists/nudists don't do anything they wouldn't do with their families, clothed or naked. Having a nudist upbringing allows me to relate instances of family outings and gatherings as something positive and wholesome. | |
| I have tried discussing/explaining being a nudist/being nude in general, to my sister but she just cant get past the nude=sex issues. She is a good bit older than me and we were all raised to be clothed and covered at all times, so I guess she is still thinking that way. I wish I could get it across to her that WE just enjoy life without clothes instead of being dressed!! She may never "get it", but I will keep trying to explain it...... | |
| My experience is that they either get it or they don't. Wasted breath trying to explain. A closed mind is just that. | |
| This is true ... except that in three cases, personally, I did not forget it and continued to educate. I garnered us, nudists, three more young couples that have tried it and occasionally live it. Are they nudists in the same sense as many of us ... no, but they at least are trying it and have even visited nude beaches and resorts. So ... in most cases, I will admit, it's hardly worth the time and breath but in some cases ... it can work and work to our benefit in growing the lifestyle. :D I'm hoping to send a couple of the younger couples your way CO HOME!! ;) | |
| I spent Saturday afternoon at my favorite "watering hole." I've begun wearing my "Live Naked" wrist band. It's similar to those yellow "Live Strong" wrist bands from Lance Armstrong but the Live Naked bands are almost clear. One of my favorite female bartenders, also a friend, noticed the band and saw the inscription and the questions started flying! I don't think I've EVER answer that many questions about nudism and social nudism to one person and for that long a time. She was REALLY interested. She wants to go to our club with me for a tour and get a feel for what we do and how we live. She's admitted to loving to be naked whenever she can, suns, swims and sleeps nude but ... "I'm no nudist!" I told her she's right and that with my help ... I'll set her mind straight! hahaha I had to constantly dispell the nudity = sex thing but I think she finally got it in the end and she's now trying to come up with a day that she can go with me and visit for a few hours. Cleared with the wife already! :D | |
| That's great, FP, on both accounts - the three young couples and your bartender friend. Jim |
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